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Dear God, I’m not Job!

Monday, February 3rd, 2014

*warning*
** This blog post is approximately 2,186 words or somewhere to close to 10 pages in MS Word… read at your own risk**
I titled this post “Dear God, I’m not Job!” for a reason. Today I found out that I have yet another condition to contend with within my body. I have hypothyroidism.

Before I get into that, let me give those of you not familiar with JOB and/or the bible story a summary…

Job is the bee’s knees. Really. He’s blameless and upright, and he has kids, a wife, land, and a bunch of sheep. Doesn’t get much better than that. Up in the heavens, God brags to the divine assembly about Job. Lo and behold, Satan comes out and challenges God on Job’s goodness. This can’t end well.

Back to the story. Satan tells God that, sure, Job loves God now, but takes away his earthly possessions and his children, and he will dump God in a New York minute. God agrees to the challenge, and Satan unleashes a force that kills all of Job’s family except his wife, kills his servants, and reduces his homes to dust. Ouch.

But guess what? Job remains loyal. He refuses to denounce God. Take that, Satan. God gets to back to bragging and Satan sets up another challenge. This time, God lets Satan give Job a nasty rash, boils, and blisters all over his body.

Now Job becomes a much less happy camper. After all, he was loyal to God, and look what happened. He doesn’t renounce God, but he does insist that he deserves some kind of explanation—wouldn’t you want one? His buddies Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar have an answer: it’s his fault. Hmmm.

Job isn’t quite satisfied with that explanation. Just in the nick of time, Elihu pops in to tell Job that he may not have sinned, but he still has no right to question his fate. After all, God’s universe is still endowed with immortal power. Bottom line: suck it up.

After much fretting and many speeches, God finally shows up. Why? For a scolding. Where was Job on the day the universe was created? Where was Job when God was designing the architecture of the seas and the continents? Where was Job when God invented Arrested Development?

Needless to say, Job feels a little humbled and acknowledges that, as a mere mortal, he can’t possibly understand everything in an immortally ruled universe. Taking Elihu’s advice, Job goes back to his day job, and eventually God gives him double what he had at the outset. Job lives to a ripe old age, and both God and Satan fade into the shadows.

Anyways, so yeah, I feel like Job. Let’s start off with my dad, killed in a car crash in 1994. Ok, I sort have dealt with that, almost 20 years after the fact. Then mom remarries… sounds fabulous doesn’t it? Except for that part where my life and family turns into a Jerry Springer show waiting to happen. My sister (step) loves the boys a little too much, and soon enough becomes a mommy before she graduates high school. Soon before the first baby was born, she was married to the baby’s father. Then almost a year later to the date, a 2nd baby comes along. I am 1 proud auntie! I love kids! I spoil them and love them and babysit for my sister all the time.
Then she divorces hubby #1, after he works his tail off to support her “lifestyle” that she thinks she needs to live, because she found a new boyfriend… soon after that she’s prego again. Baby #3!! Not complaining too much, once again I love kids!
Hubby #2 not that bright, but I can deal… I mean, he’s not my husband. So, that’s where she is now, and she’s happy, so more power to her.

Next we talk about my “brother” (step). I use the term brother loosely because I really don’t like him, not in the least. He is a cracked out, thieving, low life excuse of a person. He’s so far into drugs, he doesn’t know which way is up. Everyone has tried to help him, and he just doesn’t want to change. So, yeah, he breaks my step-dad (from here on out dad)’s heart. All he wants is his 1 son to do something with his life and not die early from a drug over dose. This is not likely to happen, given the transaction over Christmas… that’s a whole nother story in itself!

Anyways, I was a normal kid for the most part… I have had my medical and other types of issues along the way, but for the most part I have been pretty normal over the first 18 years of my life. I was a sickly child, always needing antibiotics, this procedure here, that doctor there… but hey I made it. Anyways, so went through my life being pretty cool with things… until 2006, the New Year after my 18th birthday. That’s when things really just hit the fan.

So, I guess it was February when I started to show serious signs of what I now know as hydrocephalus… have a Webpage about that.
At the time no one knew what was wrong with me; I must have had the flu… for 2 months…
Well, then my vision started to black out, I ran over lots of stuff and tore up 2 vehicles in the process. It is a wonder I did not seriously injure myself. So, yeah, that happened the 2nd semester of my senior year of high school. Then one of my favorite people dies in a tragic swimming accident. He was babysitting some kids; the little girl left her toy in the lake where they were swimming. He went to get it, got caught in a trot line… and drowned. For those unfamiliar with a trot line, have this .
I finally was able to find out my real problem sometime in May of 2006. I was directed to a neurosurgeon; I had my first shunt system put in, and was out of the hospital the day of my high school graduation.

Next we move to August of that year…
Another of my friends, actually, I jokingly called him my “favorite mechanic” because he did his best to fix my vehicles when I ran over everything so I wouldn’t have to tell my mom. Well, he was killed in a car accident, less than a mile from my house and about 5-10 minutes before my mother and I came up on the scene. I was traumatized to say the least. My neighbor, had been the one driving, and he was unharmed. Both of his passengers had been thrown from the truck despite seatbelts. One boy ended up with a punctured lung and some broken ribs, and my “favorite mechanic” had died from a broken neck.

Then I decided that I was 18 almost 19, it was time for me to try this whole moving out thing. I moved in with my boyfriend then of 5 almost 6 years. We rented a house with his sister and her boyfriend. That could’ve been my best and worst decision yet. Best because I got a full view of what I was getting into, worst because he beat the crap out of me before I left.

I was young and foolish, and accepted his marriage proposal without uttering a word to anyone about the abuse. I mean, I threatened him with a kitchen knife, and it wasn’t as bad as it had been… but once I moved to Austin for my blind rehab program, I realized that things would never be the same between us… and I had to get out.

I took precautions when I ended things with him, like making sure all of the appropriate staff knew to not let anyone know I was there and if someone came asking for me to clear it with me before telling them where I was.

Then, here’s where the story starts to turn around…

I went a little crazy in Austin. I had something to prove to myself and I did… there were still men that wanted me despite my “brokenness” or disability…

So, that abruptly ended when the boy I despised so much turned out to not be so bad after all….
Here’s the full story of how Taylor and I became a couple….
It was April 20, 2007 Taylor and I were not fans of each other… him because I was dating multiple guys and having fun… me because he was a grumpy, stuck up, “bad boy” that just knew how to get under my skin… and I didn’t like it.
The 20th that year happened to fall on a weekend. That weekend, we both were going home to visit our families… Me to east Texas, him to the little town SW of Ft. Worth…. Me on a Greyhound in the dead of night, him in a friend’s car. We both were due back on the 22…
So, on the 22 I come back via Greyhound, just for them to tell me that my luggage has been lost, and if I wait for the next bus coming in, it might be on it. So, I wait…
Still no luggage…
Maybe if I wait for this next bus it will be there, but that is like an hour from now. I realize I will most certainly die of boredom, and who do I call to keep me company at the bus station??

None other than Mr. Taylor “Elvis” himself. He grabs a cab and meets me at the bus station and we talk until the bus shows up… alas, my luggage isn’t on that bus either and the next bus won’t be in until 5 or 6 in the morning and it is now 7 or 8 in the evening.

Taylor and I catch a cab back to our apartments because the Greyhound supervisor assures me that my luggage will be delivered to me the next day. So, we get lost on our way home. The cabbie dropped us off on a street or 2 away from our apartment complex and we are lost.

Somehow, we find our way back, and we get ready to settle in for bed. By this time I realize that “Hey, I kind of like this guy… maybe he’s not too bad after all.” You know the usual girl hormones.

The next day, I am stuck at my apartment waiting for the Greyhound people to deliver my luggage, and Taylor waits with me in my apartment… This is now April 23, 2007 and Taylor and I become an “item” that day… and he we are, almost 7 years later still going! 

Now, that was my silver lining…
So, I end up meeting people when I move to Cleburne with Taylor after our 4 month love affair….
I start college as soon as I move here anxious to do something!

Now, I have been through college a couple of times over. I have an associate of liberal arts, a certificate of basic management skills, a bachelor of business administration, and working on my Master of science (management and leadership)….

I’m on the job hunt but I just can’t seem to stay healthy… my health does its own thing, and most of the time that thing is act poorly.

So, I can handle the hydrocephalus most of the time… now I have these weird non-fluid related headaches… fine, the neurologist I think has fixed those…
I’m also hypoglycemic (low blood sugar) which is probably because I’m fat, but hey, I’ve been told this has a good chance of being congenital…

So, I despite all of that, when I’m properly medicated, I thought I was a pretty active person… or not???

Today I found out I have hypothyroidism, which means that my thyroid doesn’t put out as much of my hormones as it should.
Have this info from the Mayo Clinic.

Basically, it sounds like scary stuff…
How would one get this you might ask?
Well, my prime suspect in the matter falls on my biological father’s mother. She has the same condition, and it is likely that I inherited this “condition”.
So, I want to say thank you, to the woman who wants/wanted nothing to do with me once my father died… thanks for giving me another pill to take… a constant battle with my weight due to lack of hormones, and God only knows what else will happen as time goes on.

So, dear God, I’m not Job… you might already know this since I got real mad at you back in 2006….

So, can I please have a break? I just want to have a normal semester and get through Graduate school relatively unscathed…

Signed,
Me (Amanda Ellen)

Anyways, this is a basic run down…
I’m finding it extremely hard to not be bitter, when I really have the right to be.
So, that’s all,
Thanks for reading if you made it this far!
-Amanda Ellen

P.S.
I wouldn’t change anything leading up to meeting Taylor, he means the world to me!
Sorry for the mushiness! 🙂

The reality of a raise in minimum wage by Amanda B.

Tuesday, February 19th, 2013

So, you think a hike in minimum wage is great?
Yeah, think again!
I hate this and people that are “supposed to be business majors”, have exacerbated my patience with stupidity….
Yes, in theory a hike in minimum sounds great to the McDonalds person flippin burgers, or to that girl over there ringing people up at the grocery store…
But I think people fail to realize that everything that sounds “good” comes with its own set of consequences.
Case in point, Federal minimum wage is currently $7.25 here in the states; Obama wants to make it a flat $9.00…
Sound good?
Yeah it does, until it doesn’t.
Think about this, that cheeseburger that you get at McDonalds for a dollar?
That person is paid $7.25 to make that burger…
If that person now has to be paid $9 an hour to make the same burger, then your $1 cheeseburger isn’t going to stay $1 anymore.
That person working on the assembly lines up in Detroit putting your “American made” cars together?
Yeah, minimum wage doesn’t affect them directly, but minimum wage is raised, these people will want more money for what they do.
That nice Ford or Chevy car/truck/Van you have just went up in price significantly.
Oh, you have a job as an assembly line worker, a telemarketer making minimum wage?
Well, here’s the thing…
Companies are almost always about the bottom dollar. If it is going them $9 right now to keep you sitting there doing your job and only $ 2 to have someone in India do it, guess where your job is going?
This equals a much higher unemployment rate in the United States because too many people don’t feel the need to better themselves and get educated.
Yeah, it costs a lot of money to go to college, but guess what? You get a degree or certificate of some kind, then that whole minimum wage thing is less likely to affect you directly.
I don’t think people realize that yes big box companies like Wal-Mart, Best Buy, and Kroger seem like they make up the majority of the market out there… but honestly the majority of the market is small business.
The big box stores might take most of the market share, I won’t deny that, but small business is the most dominant kind of business out there.
Those small businesses can’t absorb higher labor costs because the President doesn’t think we are paying people enough to make a hamburger…
Ok, so maybe minimum wage doesn’t cover cost of living anymore.
But whose fault is that?
The same people wanting a hike in minimum wage!
If people wouldn’t have been completely ignorant and stupid by taking out loans that they knew they wouldn’t be able to make the payments for, or even if heaven forbid, people did the research on the kind of loan someone offers you before you take it.
If those things were different, and if the housing market and bankers weren’t so greedy, then we would not have this recession, insane amounts of inflation, and that $7.25 people make now to flip burgers and “take my order” could live pretty close to the rest of society.
No, they won’t drive brand new nice cars, have name brand clothes, and may even have to bargain shop, but guess what?
No one ever said life would be easy, and no one ever said everything would be handed to you.
Yes, I am blind; yes I live on the government right now.
Know what I’m doing about it?
I am educating myself, bettering myself, and creating a portfolio of skills that will appeal to employers so that I can earn my money, pay taxes, and have nice things.
Trust me; the government doesn’t pay me much better than minimum wage pays Joe Blow down the street working at Burger King.
You don’t hear me screaming for increases to my Social Security check all the time!
People need to step up and learn to take responsibility for their own life, play poker with the cards you are dealt, put your big girl/boy panties on and get on with life!
All I can say is that raising the minimum wage will be negated when companies start raising prices for everything to cover that new extra labor costs, start moving jobs overseas to save on labor costs and millions of Americans are left without jobs, and everyone that called for minimum wage increases will be stuck with their thumb up their ass wondering what in the hell happened!
I mean time will be standing in my own little corner shaking my head and saying “I told you this would happen.”
So, don’t get me wrong, people who can only do minimum wage jobs deserve to live like the rest of society, but if you make it where the minimum wage people can live like upper middle class for a bit, then the whole shit and shebang will come crashing down on all of us.
I think I’ve finished my rant for today….
Remember kids, not everything that shines is gold, sometimes it’s just spray painted dog shit!
HAHA
TaTa,
Amanda Ellen